


Teenage Memories

by mikeyspankme



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 05:57:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4089544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeyspankme/pseuds/mikeyspankme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael recalls the most prominent memories about his relationship with Luke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teenage Memories

Lonely was the perfect word to describe him. Michael felt so desperately lonely, no matter how many people he was surrounded by. This feeling of loneliness only minimally subsided when he was with his best friend, Calum. It never fully went away. He could be in a crowded room, but he still felt that way. It was a constant, clinging thought that he was alone, perpetually so.

That was, until he met his salvation in the form of a blond, blue-eyed boy named Luke.

Michael met Luke for the first time in Grade Nine, when they both went to the same school. He absolutely hated the kid at first. Luke was perfect, too cool, and so, totally out of Michael’s limit. Girls flirted with Luke all the time, but he never seemed to notice or flirt back. Michael hated that the most of all. Guys were supposed to flirt with girls, that was the status quo. Who was this skinny blond to go against it? Why was he so special?

Michael found out just what made Luke so special that next summer when he found Luke making out with some older lad on the footie team in the back of the servo station. Or, rather, more specifically, when Michael first realized that he was gay and had a massive crush on the Hemmings boy.

Michael remembers the sudden fall of tears, the way his face burned red, and how the sniffle he let out caused the other boys to break apart. Michael remembers how he couldn’t even bear to look Luke in the face, how he immediately ran out of the servo station, forgetting all about the milk his mum had tasked him with buying. He remembers running down the sidewalks, tears obstructing his vision. He doesn’t remember how he got home; the only thing he can remember is the warm embrace of his mother’s arms after he did get home.

Michael remembers the first time he kissed Luke. They were filming one of their cover videos for Hemmo1996. Luke was giggling that adorable little giggle that he always did, the same one Michael found to be incredibly intoxicating. Michael leaned in toward Luke, absolutely enchanted by the younger blond. Luke, naturally, leaned in, too. Their lips slowly came together, their eyelids fell shut. Michael remembers how sloppy, yet amazing it was. He remembers the soft, almost girl-like, feel of Luke’s lips against his own.  
Michael remembers their first real date. He took Luke to Macca’s (yes, he knows it all sounds very romantic) and then to an arcade a few blocks away. They ate greasy burgers and played stupid arcade games. It was fun and Michael got to hang out with the boy he loved liked, a lot. And Michael also definitely enjoyed their make-out session in Luke’s room afterwards, even if it was interrupted by Liz, who claimed that she was “just coming in to get the laundry, don’t mind me dear”.

He remembers the way Luke giggled softly and blushed when Michael held his hand. The way Luke’s slightly larger hands molded against Michael’s felt comfortable, almost giving him a sense of....home. It was a unique, amazing sensation. It was something absolutely unpredictable and Michael loved it wholeheartedly.

Michael remembers the first time he told Luke he loved him. Or rather that he was in love with him. He remembers Luke tearing up before attacking Michael with kisses and all the affection he could possibly give anyone. That night was the first time the two had ever gotten intimate. He remembers how horrendously awkward they were. They’d ended up elbowing each other and laughing every moment the other did something stupid. Sure, it wasn’t like what the porn videos showed, but they never wanted that. Michael and Luke purely wanted to give themselves to the other, with nothing holding them back. The couple wanted to show their love for each other in the most physical way possible.  
He remembers the day they came out to the fans via a picture on Twitter. They’d taken a picture of themselves, their lips touching ever so softly and their eyes shut in a moment of bliss. Michael and Luke had contemplated over posting the picture for literal hours, as both were nervous about what the fans’ reactions would be. They knew some people shipped them (coming up with the ship name ‘Muke’), but there was a large majority of the fandom that didn’t. Despite their worries, nothing much actually came out of posting the photo. A lot of people on Twitter (and all the other social media they had) were just like “ha! called it! so happy for them! #mukeaf”.

He remembers the first time they ever had a major fight. Luke wanted Michael to come out to a party with him, but Michael wasn’t feeling up for a party. He wanted to stay in his man cave and play League all night, maybe eat some pizza and drink a few beers. Michael had suggested Luke staying in with him, if he wanted to hang out. Luke got pissed. He yelled at Michael, saying that he couldn’t be with someone who would never do anything with him (at which Michael reminded him they banded together all the freaking time). He’d shouted some rude names at Michael before declaring that they were “officially broken up, you fucking cock” and storming out of Michael’s house. Michael remembers curling up on the couch in his man cave with a bottle of beer clutched in his hands, sobbing hysterically. He also sort of remembers drunk tweeting some incredibly emo lyrics that he’d made a crap load of typos on. Michael and Luke didn’t talk to each other for weeks. Everything dealing with the band was relayed through either Ashton or Calum. It was absolute hell for both of them. Thankfully, though, Ashton and Calum forced the two to reconcile by locking them in the tour bus together.

Michael remembers when Luke asked Michael to marry him. They were on their second world tour, playing in Amsterdam. Luke would have loved to ask Michael actually out in the city, maybe do a TFIOS sort of thing since Michael had loved it so much, but he also knew that Michael was in love with the music and decided to do something with that instead. It was right after their last song when Michael went to go bow with the other guys and none of them moved from their spots that Michael knew something was up. Luke spoke into his mic, grinning at the crowd of fans, “Sorry, guys, I have one more thing to do while we’re on stage.” Luke had nodded at Calum, who grabbed an acoustic guitar from one of the roadies. Then, Ashton came forward and handed something to Luke. Calum started strumming out the first chords to “I Will Follow You into the Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie. Luke got down on one knee (miraculously not ripping his black skinny jeans) and pulled out a black box. When he opened it, Michael felt his heart race and his eyes water. The entire time he was wondering if this was real life. The seconds those four words were out of Luke’s mouth, Michael was a teary mess and could only nod his head. The crowd erupted in screams as Luke slid a smooth black ring onto Michael’s finger before kissing him.

He remembers his wedding day. It was a sunny Saturday in October. He remembers how Luke demanded that Michael walk down the aisle because if Luke did, he would definitely trip over his limbs, like he did on stage. Michael remembers his mum crying before the ceremony, saying that her baby was growing up too fast and she didn’t want to see him go. He remembers hugging her until she stopped, despite the fact that it wrinkled his shirt (they’d decided against tuxes). He remembers how hot Luke looked at the end of the aisle, his hair down flat against his forehead, his leather jacket showcasing his broad shoulders. He remembers how Luke nervously bit his lip ring when Michael was walking toward him, how his right foot curled on top of his left anxiously. He remembers stuttering a little bit when saying his vows, even though he’d practiced it a hell of a lot of times. But he especially remembers that night when Michael and Luke left for their honeymoon and Luke decided to try something new on the plane.

But today, what Michael remembers the most is the feeling of a cold spot next to him in bed. He remembers the way Luke looked at him before he left. He remembers the utter despair he was in when Luke left him for someone else. He remembers the nights spent crying alone in their old shared house. He remembers breaking down and throwing things, decimating almost every piece of glass in the house. Michael remembers how goddamned alone he felt again. And he didn’t want to feel that way.

Michael remembers the feeling of the cold metal against his wrist. He remembers the instantaneous pain as the knife slid across his skin. He remembers the crimson running down his arms, covering his palms and devouring the small black ring on his left finger. Lastly, Michael remembers feeling free.

All Calum can remember is the sight of his best friend since Year Three bleeding out in his own bathtub, a suicide note on the bathroom counter.

All Ashton can remember is sobbing next to his best friend and band-mate’s body as the paramedics take him to the morgue.

All Luke can remember is the regret and self-hatred.


End file.
